Anyway, one of my jobs is as a phone runner at my uncle's restaurant in Park City. Yeah, it's pretty schwaggy. Which means it's fancy. Anyway. So, I was running food to a family of Italians at the front of the restaurant and you will NEVER guess who was sitting at the table!
Hint #1: "Dis hand wax on, dis hand wax off."
Hint #2: "Bonzai!"
Hint #3: Rhymes with "Schmalf Scotch-io"
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That's right, I swear to high heaven that Ralph freaking Macchio was sitting in seat 5 at table 113. I mean, obviously it wasn't the real Ralph Macchio because the kid really was only like 15. I know that because his parents were sitting in seats 1 and 6.
I should have asked for his autograph.