Friday, November 19, 2010
I've been absent far too long from this place. Ha, it's interesting to think of how much has changed since the last time I wrote. I'm not going to go into detail, but let's just say that I've changed jobs, loved and lost, been lost and turned around again. I promise someday I'll get better at this whole blogging thing, but right now this is the best you get.
I find myself at an odd place in my life. I can really do whatever I want. I don't really have anything tying me down. I don't have a job, I don't have a significant other, and I'm not in school because I'm still paying off last semester. It's kind of unsettling, like looking into a deep, dark chasm and feeling the currents from beneath brush against your face and ruffle your heair. It's also liberating and has made me a little bit more of who I am. I know one thing for sure: I will never let myself be late to work again. Learned my lesson there, thank you very much.
I also find myself in the odd position of not really caring about dating. I mean, I enjoy a pleasant date as much as the next girl, but I don't feel like I have to make people like me. I've gone through enough now that I know if one guy isn't interested, the next guy probably will be. Also, I like myself enough to spend time alone with myself and just be. Also, sometimes dating's a hassle; it's exhausting to be charming for three hours straight! But if a guy is willing to take you out and buy you dinner and spend time and money on you, you've got to be charming in return, right?
Another thing I've learned is how to let go. It's been difficult, but I've learned how to let go of hurt and old anger and just overlook however I feel I've been wronged. Honestly? Most people aren't even trying to offend you. It's a little difficult but a whole lot more relaxing to just let it roll off my back. Now, this is not me giving up my ranting rights; I totally reserve the right to rant if I've had a bad day. Just the ranting will only last that one rant and then ... I'll let it go.
Wow. I am so grown up.